Sunday, November 18, 2007

What Would the Flying Spaghetti Monster Do?

Background: I just had to do this for fun. It came about as the Collier School Board debated for the millionth time...prayer before a school board meeting. This debate took considerable time when the board faced numerous urgent issues.

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2007/nov/15/school_board_continue_allowing_outsiders_give_meet/

November 18, 2007

Dear Mr. Donovan;

It is commendable you have worked so hard to ensure the invocation for the Collier County School Board is not divisive. After reading your comments in the Naples Daily News regarding bringing different faiths to the podium, I’m confident you will be all inclusive and not deny any religious preferences from participating.

That in mind, I respectively request an invocation representing the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Worshipers, also known as Pastafarians, were blessed with the Prophet Bobby in 2005 whose wisdom brought Flying Spaghetti Monsterism out from the shadows and into the mainstream. Two short years later the religious movement has experienced unprecedented growth. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism has been featured in many National publications and news programs including the New York Times and CNN. Just recently Flying Spaghetti Monterism was included on the agenda at the American Academy of Religion’s annual meeting.

I was so pleased to read you would never deny a rabbi from saying “Yahweh.” You see, the invocation by a Pastafarian Preacher must be performed while wearing His chosen outfit. It is considered very disrespectful to teach their beliefs without the outfit of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which is full pirate regalia.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is capable of amazing feats. According to followers He created the universe and can change it at any time. He is invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease. By permitting the blessing of the Flying Spaghetti Monster at a School Board Meeting you can have faith His Noodly Appendage will help to further any cause you wish to advance.

While there are never any guarantees for a miracle, a prayer by a Pastafarian Preacher representing Flying Spaghetti Monsterism might just turn out to be the divine intervention needed to secure the prestigious Southern Association of Colleges and Schools accreditation as a Quality School District for Collier County .

Should you have any questions regarding the legitimacy of this religion I encourage you to Google it…over 2 million results have been returned.



For additional information - http://www.venganza.org/